What is your advice on how to make a relationship last?
Like, what’s important to argue about, what are some things to let go? Every relationship is different, and you have to give and take, but I was wondering how you make yours and the Big Guy’s work.

Such as…How do you handle an argument? Do you yell, or do you stay calm and try to talk it out?
How do approach him or any of your past relationships when he makes you mad or upsets you?
How do you handle him being late?
What is just an absolute pet peeve of yours in a relationship?


I know these are pretty personal questions, and i’m sorry for that, but I would really love your opinion, your advice and some honest answers…to every question I asked you. Please. You have no idea how much you would be helping me out.

—It’s been well over 2 weeks since anonymous asked this but I thought it warranted actual thought since it was a complex question.

My dad told me something once that I took to heart a long time ago. He said, “If it’s not going to work in a year, it’s never going to work.”  For the post part I use this sentence as my life coach.  I’m down to do anything for a year but if it’s not working past that, I’m out.  This could be anything from a job to a boyfriend, a headband to a pair running shoes.

How does this relate to this question though?  Well basically I’m trying to say that if you really, truly care about a person you should give it 100% for an entire year.  Even if things are rough and everything isn’t going your way, if you feel that strongly about a person give all you’ve got for a year and see where you are at the end of it.  If you can say at the end of the year- that you did everything you could and it still wasn’t working between you two, then give it up.  It’s never going to work. 

-So, how to make a relationship last?  Truthfully, you can make anything last, that’s not the real question.  I was in 3 major relationships that ended on my accord because I didn’t think they were right but I could have made them last.  I think the real question is how to be happy in your relationship.  And the best advice I can give on that is to date your best friend. 

After all, think about your best friend, you get annoyed at them, you yell at them, you can speak your mind freely, tell them things you can’t tell anyone else, show them a side of you no one else knows… and at the end of the day you still want them to be the last person you talk to. Making a relationship last is about being as honest as possible and adapting.  If you can’t grow with that person or go in the direction they’re going in- then it doesn’t work.  It’s about having the same interests but incorporating the other persons interests into your life as well. 

-What’s important to argue about, what are some things to let go? 

I wish I knew a universal answer to this, alas I do not.  Here’s a small list of things I think you should let go: housework, exes, money, pet chores, what to eat for dinner, where to go for the holidays, getting drunk, sex, time spent together… It’s probably easier to list things you should argue about.  Just think about your best friend, basically you’re going to let everything go right?  Unless it’s VERY serious or he/she has REALLY upset you.  In that case treat your relationship like you’re dating them- tell them it pissed you off and move on.  I’ve learned through cold hard practice that there’s nothing really to ever argue about.  It’s just as easy to sit down, have a drink and talk a problem out.  If you see no progress in 2 weeks or so, mention it again.  Then if nothing has changed after a month, give them the boot ;)

-How do you handle an argument? Do you yell, or do you stay calm and try to talk it out?

I’m not perfect but I do try to just talk it out. I yell every now and then but I’m a very patient person.  The Big Guy and I have known each other almost 3 years and we’ve only been in 3 or 4 major arguments.  One of which led to us actually dating.  Proof that arguments can turn out well. :)

-How do approach him or any of your past relationships when he makes you mad or upsets you? 

Trick them into thinking you’re just going to hang out, don’t ever tell someone “we have to talk.”  There’s no worse sentence you could say to you significant other. After you guys are in the groove of things, tell them something’s on your mind.  Since you both are in a free state of mind and there’s no tension, I feel this is the best time to talk business.

-How do you handle him being late?

I’m usually the one who’s late.  I got in a fight with my BFF over being late once and since then I’ve been light-years better at it.  He’s pretty good about it, sometimes he tells me 7 when he really means 6:30. 

-What is just an absolute pet peeve of yours in a relationship?

This question I might have to think about more.  Small things drive me crazy, like the Big Guy leaves his razor on the sink- I hate that.  An ex of mine used to wipe the fog from the mirror after a shower- it drove me batty.  The Big Guy lets the dog sleep on the bed- I hate that, but let it go.  I’m not easily annoyed so not much bothers me.  Although I LOATHE complainers.  Don’t complain to me, I won’t listen.  There’s a difference between complaining and telling me your problems. Know it ;)

Hope that helps/ I hope you read this far.